This may be a feeling I share only with David Letterman, but lists have to be the worst invention since the parchment, ink and the “classic” novel, “The Crucible.” (Seriously, has anyone ever read that outside of high school? Or actually enjoyed it? I really have no idea what happens in the novel, but somehow I passed English.)
I enjoy David Letterman’s lists, as they actually do not suck, much different than the following list of lists…listed below.
Drum roll, please.
I don’t really troll much. I dispense the occasional slander. Occasionally I get overly talkative. Rarely emo, because Drake hasn’t released much new recently. But look at some of the Twitter Lists I have been added to.
My feelings are hurt. Go Dolphins.
I used to enjoy the lists on their website. I really did. And even some of the articles they post now have good subjects. For every “15 Greatest Jim Ross Dubs on YouTube” there is an “A$AP Ferg’s 25 Favorite Albums” (he’s not a good enough rapper for me to care what albums he likes), but that’s okay. No one can win them all. Unless you’re the ’72 Dolphins. Or the 72 Dolphins. The worst problem is that the execution is SO irritating.
Of course I know why they do it. Get that ad revenue, Complex, I ain’t even mad. More clicks equals more mula (YMCMB$). Still, I absolutely will not suffer through their webpage.
The Buzzfeed lists are set up similarly to the Complex site, but the difference is 99% of their lists are about topics completely idiotic and totally irrelevant to the average gainfully employed and competently educated resident of Earth. They are so bad that they are undeserving of a complementary picture with a witty caption.
Mel Kiper Draft Predictions
The football draft has just passed, but he never fails to make incredibly awful predictions with the utmost certainty and smugness. I know that the NFL Draft is far from a sure thing, but I still like to get on him.
“(Cameron Newton) is a one year wonder. Akili Smith was a one year wonder.”
“I think Ryan Leaf is more mature than Drew Bledsoe, he’s very much a grown up 21 year old.”
“Jamarcus Russel…three years from you could be looking at a guy that’s certainly one of the top five elite quarterbacks in the league.”
Well, I guess there’s always next year, Mel.
Purely added because of a combination of envy, greed and poverty. I, too, err. In all honesty, the Forbes Lists site is nicely constructed, full of pictures, and even leads with a short, inspiring quote before it directs you to lists collections of people insanely more wealthy than you currently are or likely ever will be. Thanks for uplifting me right before you remind me how broke I am, Forbes.
For the next topic we will have favorite options for Bullets and Numbering in Microsoft Word. Small dots? Checks? Boxes? Solid or hollow? Roman Numerals? Tune back in next time for this riveting discourse.