Top 7 Songs To Sing Out Loud At White People Bars Before Closing Time

As a Black male who has spent considerable time among many races due to school and work, nothing is quite like spending an evening with inebriated white folks. I am a huge fan of music of all genres, but it wasn’t until 2005, when I began working at a somewhat fancy resort that I learned of the drunk white classic songs.

This resort and conference center hosted all sorts of corporate conferences as well as weddings and anniversary parties. Add in an open bar and a DJ, and fun was bound to happen.

Since Virginia law dictates that alcohol can’t be (legally) served after 2am, the period between 1:30 and 2:00 provided some of the greatest drunken ballads ever experienced. Here are some of my favorites in no particular order.

Joan Jett – “I Love Rock & Roll”

The song is the personification of rock. Heavy metal guitar riffs, leather jackets, teenage angst all mixed together with alcohol, loose morals and bad decisions. In social settings, this song represents your last chance to not go home alone. Don’t screw it up pal.

Semisonic – “Closing Time”

This is the bartender and security’s way of not so subtle way of telling you to get the hell out. I don’t think I’ve ever heard this song while the lights were still off. Go ahead and close that tab bruh.

Neil Diamond – “Sweet Caroline”

Most bars don’t play the OG version, but, all I can say about this song is, if you don’t sing the “BUM BUM BUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!” and “SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” part then you ain’t real at ALL. Close your web browser and go out and experience life you lame.

Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”

Why one would want someone to pour sugar on them, I still haven’t quite figured out. It’s not like salt, which could put out a fire. I’ll need to do further research in order to get to the bottom of this. Will report back with my findings.

Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody”

This is honestly and truly my favorite song ever. It’s like a movie in song form.  Exposition, Rising Action, Climax, Falling Action, Resolution. All with incredible instrumentation, impeccable harmony and the sweet, soothing sounds of one of the greatest voices in music history, Freddie Mercury.

I sang this at a bar (majority white) for karaoke and got mad love and audience participation. And celebratory shots. I win.

Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On A Prayer”

This is also one of my favorite songs to play on Rock Band. On Easy. I am not elite.

Many a vocal cord has been strained in a foolish and desperate attempt to sing the “Ooooh-OOOOOHHHHHH!!!” part of the chorus. 75% of weekend hot tea and Halls brand throat lozenge purchases are due to overzealous attempts to sing this song. Tread carefully.

Journey – “Don’t Stop Believing”

THE penultimate last call, dude where’s my car, let me get her phone number before I forget, last ditch Russell Wilson Hail Mary throw into triple coverage and still win because of the extremely questionable call effort. If you have never screamed this while finishing your Stella Artois draft at 1:57 am on a Thursday night before showing up to class/work the next day ridiculously late and/or hungover then you haven’t lived life.

These are some of the songs I love to hear when I visit bars in which I am, much like every day life, the minority. Often times when one hears these classic staples rock, it signifies the end of a glorious night. But don’t take my word for it. What are some of your favorites?


About unclepsflask

Awesomeness personified
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2 Responses to Top 7 Songs To Sing Out Loud At White People Bars Before Closing Time

  1. This is hilarious. And true. 🙂
    You can also make a room full of white people stop whatever they’re doing and dance if you play the Cupid Shuffle or Cha Cha Slide. 😀

  2. DJ Kook says:

    Don’t forget Friends In Low Places!

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